"And nothing goes up there!"

Last night was a bit stressful.

All throughout the day, I had been 'leaking' a clear, odorless fluid. Not a lot, but enough that I had to change underwear. I called Kathy, thinking it was nothing, and she called back (sounding a bit worried) and asked us to come visit to get it checked out.

Apparently her first thoughts were that my water had broken or had a 'tear' in the bag. She said if that was the case, we'd be in the hospital on steroids and antibiotics for as long as possible and on complete bedrest. Understandably, this idea scared the crap out of me and Ben.

We went over there and she did a few little tests. One was negative, the other could have gone either way. She sent us home with four more herbal supplements and three big rules:

1. Nothing goes up there (with a Look at Ben).
2. Call her if anything changes
3. Rest! Take it easy.

So now I'm on a sorta-not-really-bedrest situation. I think I'm going to drop my speech class because A, It's stressful as hell, B, it's early in the morning, and C, it's stressful as hell.

Here's hoping baby doesn't come early. :( If it's just extra mucuous, that's great. Just anything but a broken water. In a couple of days, Kathy is going to test me again. Meanwhile, we're in limbo. :(

Pregnancy update - Yay, third trimester!

I want to say this pregnancy has been worse than Mori. Both in mental exhaustion and physical discomfort. I don't know if it's because I'm chasing around a 1-year-old, running a household, and going to school while pregnant or if it has something to do with the actual pregnancy, but either way, it's rough.

I get days like today where I am just unable to do anything. I want to do things. I START to do things. But two minutes into it, and I'm either out of breath, having a contraction, or just mentally unable to continue.

Even standing and folding laundry is a huge task. Add in having to chase around Mori, keep her out of the kitchen sink (she's learned to move the chairs around and climb... hurray... feel my excitement?), pull her out from behind the futon... you get the idea.

It's days like this that I am ashamed to admit that Mori watches disney movies... for a good part of the day. It's not something I'm proud of, but it is darned convenient.

Yesterday, we re-arranged the livingroom. It's been about a year since we've moved any furniture around, and I was getting antsy. Ben was amazingly helpful, listening to me and moving all the furniture where I wanted it. He didn't argue or ask questions or anything. It made me feel really good.

So, now, the desk is right across from the window, which allows me to sit in the sunlight in the morning. We put the futon across instead of against a wall, which splits the room into two quite effectively. The second half will turn into either a play area/toy storage area for the kids or a dining area with our diningroom table. I haven't decided which would be more convenient. Right now, the kids don't have a play area... but at the same time, our table is stuffed into the kitchen with very little room to negotiate.

So, we'll see with that. However, this setup makes me happy and seems like it's more organized, and maybe a bit more 'zen'. It also condensed the living area of the living room into a smaller, more family-friendly area.

Once it's fully cleaned up, I might post pictures. :)

Energy, moods, and kids

It's amazing how in-tune Mori is to me.

I felt my blood sugar drop about half an hour ago... and I mean honestly felt it. One second I was fine, playing with Mori, the next second I felt like crap. Poor Mori reacted in the same way... she went from fun and giggling to crying.

I hate being pregnant. I honestly do. Some women have that 'glow'? Not me. I have zits. Some women breeze through the first trimester? Not me! Nope. I get puking, passing-out, losing-weight months.

I find it amusing that the only thing I like about being pregnant is feeling a bump and the actual labor.

This morning I did manage to get two loads of laundry and a load of dishes done, though. I also bought some solar cells on Ebay to play around with and try to make a panel out of. I've had lots of water and moved Mori's previously-unused toy container to the kitchen, where it's now half-filled. I've checked on the chickies and dogs.

I still have to:

Write an essay.
Clean dishes off the cpu table.
Get Mori's toys all put away/organized.
Empty vacuum and vacuum kitchen and livingroom.
Pack up yarn.
Go through livingroom and pick up all the freaking trash.
Do another load of laundry.
Stick chicken in the oven for dinner.

If I can get all that done by 7pm, I'll be happy with my day.

Also, this is the first day in my pregnancy that I've kept down both my prenatal and my fish oil pills. Normally I bring up at least the fish oil... but today I kept them both down! Yayy!

Signing out,
Ket

16 Days 'til Schooooooolllll

I'm so. freaking. excited.

School starts the 30th, which is in 16 days. The day after school starts, we have our first midwife appointment. The next week or so after that, we'll have our first ultrasound.

But mostly I'm excited about school. Loan money should be coming in within the next week or so, in which case I will quickly flee to the book store on campus and load up on everything from binders to a $150 calculator. And then, for two blessed days a week, I will be 'stuck' at school. All day. 10am to 8pm. And, (forgive me if this is a horrible thing to say) Mori won't be with me. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to pieces, but I literally can't remember the last time I have gone anywhere without her. Even for just an hour.

And then there's the whole career thing. Obviously I'm excited to be finally on track. Within two years, (maybe 2 1/2, due to baby #2) I should be graduated. I can pick up a part-time job as a tech. And also hopefully go to OSU for a zoology Bachelor's. And then? Once the kids are in school? Hello, grad school!

Also, I will be 12 weeks pregnant next week, which gives me one week for my hormones to settle before school. Hopefully the nausea, food aversion, etc etc will fade away after the first trimester.... if I remember right, it did with Mori.

Speaking of pregnancy, I've noticed a few things different about it this time around. A few things are the same, like not wanting to be near milk or eggs, but there's a few subtle differences too. Like, this time around, I'm not puking as much, however, I have more cravings and food aversions. Last time I would eat anything, but I'd have to puke it back up.

Also this time I'm remarkably horny and gassy... not a good combination. And why do we shorten 'combination' to 'combo'? It's not combOnation. Curious.

The past few days I've also been feeling more energetic and 'up'. For two or three weeks there, it was hell... I didn't do *anything*. Now, I'm back to my old half-assed cleaning routines and such. Yesterday I even vacuumed! And this past few days I've been working on cleaning out our linen closet and bagging up half of our 10,000 sheets and blankets for charity. Next, I think I'll tackle the kitchen... I'm already decluttering our clothes as they go through the wash. Mori's toys need to be gone through, but most of them are okay. We've got a million books that we never read but I absolutely hate getting rid of books, so we need to find a new storage system... right now the bookcases look like props from a B-rated horror flick... You know, reaching towards you with clawed books, saying "Come! Come read me!"

The chicken house is almost done. All the framing and the roof are done, but we need to stick the tin up on the sides and add in the nest boxes. We put in the order for the chicks... in a few weeks, we'll have 50 baby chicks delivered right to our door! How... weird.

I also want to get into beekeeping. Ben does too. I'm thinking for his birthday (October) I might get "him" a starter hive... and then get some bees for it next spring. Of course, it wouldn't be for "him", it would be for "us", but lets not split hairs. XD

The chickens ate my grapes, which really need to be planted. It looks like the stupid bunbun got to my strawberries because there is one plant that looks nibbled at, and it's dying. Cody dug a bunch of holes in our corn field, and the tomato plants are brown. Obviously we need to plan this whole garden thing better. XD

Kudos!

I haven't updated in a while...

But I'm going to now because I have to complain and the best place to complain is to myself. Warning: Post ahead contains pregnancy hormones. Read at your own risk.

Ben's schedule is hard to get used to. He has three-four days off at a time, so he's here... all day. Every day. For four days. This wouldn't be bad if I could get over the fact that he is Ben, and not some perfect husband that I concocted. He's a great guy and I love him and that should be enough, right?

But then, there's times like yesterday... He's been obsessed with this chicken house project because he wants to get 50 chickens by the end of June. That's fine, great, whatever, but that's a month away. We have company (my brother and Ben's parents) coming over THIS WEEKEND. And yet when I mentioned him helping me clean up, he seemed to think the damn chicken house was more important.

The house is a mess. The carpets are... gross, due to dogs. There's McDonalds trash all over the yard because Ben didn't take the trash out last night and the dogs got in it. We still have groceries in their bags that haven't been put away yet. There's dishes to be done, surfaces to clean, carpets to vacuum, trash to pick up... and Mori's being a you-know-what.

My nerves feel shot. I'm sick as a dog. I have no, I mean, no energy. I just want to curl up on the couch and cry, except that wouldn't help anything and I can't justify it. My brother won't get ahold of me for his flight information and I'm afraid he's going to cancel, in which case we'd be out $150 that we'd never see again.

And the cake-topper of this whole pity party?

It's my 21st birthday. I don't want to be puking and cleaning and trying not to yell at the child on my birthday. I wanted a happy day, maybe we'd go outside and play in the sun, settle down and read a book... Preferably not be sick.

I have made a solemn oath that I will not be pregnant on my next birthday. This is the second time in a row. And it's not fun.
-------------------------------- END COMPLAINING

God, I can't wait until school starts. I'm so excited. I need my math book and then I won't have to worry about ANY books. It'll give me two whole days to be away from the family (which sounds horrible but I think it will really help my sanity.). I'll finally be on the road to where I want to be. It's exciting!

Oh! And Tuesday we met with the midwife, Kathy. I have to admit, she's pretty awesome. When she learned that Summer didn't help us with the birth cert. paperwork she seethed. She seems very cheerful and understanding, and I can see her being at the birth and really being encouraging and involved. Which is great, since that's what I want with a midwife.

We're going to steam-clean the carpets before the birth. Even though that's OMG-far-away, it's nice to think about. Nice clean carpet for new baby.

I almost told my mom. She mentioned that I was 21 and now could drink, and at first I thought she was being mean, and then I realized that she didn't know. But I couldn't tell her. It's just... not time.

Anyway. Done here for now. Kudos!