Thursday, January 10, 2008

Troubles in Paradise

Now, I love my husband.
He is my other half. He is my support, financially and emotionally. I have no doubt he loves me.
But he does have some failings.

I try my hardest to make him happy. I make his lunch. I let him sleep in. I wash his clothes, make his dinner, clean his house, take care of his child. Rarely do I ask his help, and it's always with something stupid (take out the trash, etc.). I can count on one hand the number of times i've asked him to watch Mori for more than ten minutes.

Meanwhile, I have to take care of her, clean the house, cook the food, try to squeeze in some homework and maybe a little bit of knitting. I take care of all the animals, regulate when they go out/in, pay the bills, keep track of bills, keep track of medical stuff and 401k stuff. I sort the mail, file the taxes, etc...

... See where this is leading?

I'm sick of it, and these are the top 5 things that bug me the most.

1. When I wake him up, it takes anywhere from 3-7 times of me going in there for him to get up. If I use a harsher means to wake him up, such as turning on the light, he gets royally pissed.

2. He would rather starve at work than take the five minutes to make his own lunch. When I have time, sure, i'll make his lunch, but 9/10ths of the time it is an inconvience to me because I have Mori or am in the middle of something. It's his lunch, he's going to eat it - he knows where all the fixings are for it. I am not his mother.

3. He never offers anything. I have to ask. Doesn't matter what it is... taking out the trash, watching Mori while I do homework, making food... I always have to ask. It would be nice, one day, for him to say "Hey, would you like me to do [insert thing here]?". And when I do ask things, I feel bad, because he either makes an excuse about why he can't and I have to badger him, or he acts like it's a big burden.

4. EVERY time he watches Mori, when I get back, all he talks about is how she cried the whole time. I know my child... She does whine a lot, but there are reasons. She's either bored, wants to be held, is tired or hungry or needs to be changed. Rarely does she whine for no reason now-a-days. So he's either not taking care of her, not entertaining her, or ignoring her.

5. The sex thing. I can't remember the last time we had sex. Or cuddled, even. I just don't even have interest anymore because it's such a chore to A, get the alone time, and B, make sure the alone time coincides with his small ass libido.

Okay. I feel better.

Kudos,
Ket

2 comments:

Rachel said...

aww. ::hug:: what a stinker. :/ i hope it gets better. there's been times when britt and i just couldn't get along for the life of us. it's weird, i don't even know what the deal was during those times. but he'd yell and scream at me over something like, the dishes not being done. and me not caring that they weren't done. and then he'd tell me i should just leave, and i'd leave, and then he'd complain that i left him with avi and he'd had to put her to bed, etc. it was so crazy and miserable...but it changed. :p now he's amazing and wonderful, and amazing some more. i just hope we don't go through any more of those miserable phases. it really makes life suck. bleh. i love yooooou. you and mori can come visit us and britt can take the girls while you and i go out and go knitting and whatever. there are knitting groups really close to here that meet up a few times a week. :D :D

ParamourANGEL said...

Blah! I know exactly how you feel. Sad thing is, I gave up fighting on alot of things. I use to beat my brains out trying to get the help that I knew I needed and deserved. I drove myself crazy and spent alot of time crying. I was miserable and I just couldnt understand why I was the only one who felt resposible for my house, and life. I even went as far as saying, "Well fine, if you wont help do the dishes (etc.) then I wont do them again until you help." This left me with piles and piles of dirty dishes that began to grow mold. I would hold out until we were having company or family over and then I would have to give in and clean up mounds of moldy dishes. Bah. I learned to pick and choose alot of my battles.....and to hope that he would mature. Fortunatly he has matured, and I have learned to just deal with some things.